I was in the hair salon the other day and discussion ensued regarding a local well known pastor and the dilemma that he and his wife are currently facing. The pastor has preached many a sermon on relationships and marriage. As a matter of fact, he rarely preaches a sermon in which he does not strongly reference his beautiful wife and their rock solid relationship. Because this pastor has been enormously vocal and visible about his undying love and fidelity toward his wife, many people are now shaking their heads in dread, disappointment and downright disgust at the pastor’s recent public revelation of adultery.
Infidelity seems to be a word that is getting more and more use these days when discussing Christian marriages. Men are plain and simply screwing around on their wives. More often than not these are men who others do not expect or perhaps even suspect to not have sexual control. For some reason the majority of people cannot seem to fathom why married preachers, mostly men, seem to be incapable of maintaining their marriages. Many couples who I know personally that have been married for decades are now divorcing because of adultery. What’s going on?
We attempted to answer that question that day in the hair salon. As each woman shared her viewpoint, the conversation began to get little should we say- warmly interesting. One woman posed a very valid point. She was adamant that each person does what they want to do and that we should not blame the devil. She felt strongly that the devil could not make us do anything and that all of us live by choice. I then asked her if she’d ever done anything in her life and wondered how she had ended up in that predicament or condition. The woman remained steadfast that everything she’d ever done in her life she alone made the decision to do so. I, on the other hand, extended that while we do have choices there are times when spiritual temptations overwhelm our finite ability to make good choices. After all, isn’t that what happened to Eve in the Garden of Eden? Eve was made completely flawless and in the direct image of the Father. She was not conceived in sin neither shaped in iniquity. How is it, then, that she was unable to simply choose to obey God? Could it be so easy that all we have to do is merely choose to do what is right?
Well, if it is that easy then why do we need grace? Why did Christ die to snatch us from under the impossible weight of The Law? Why is there still a proclivity to sin resident inside of people who proclaim to truly love the Lord? As the woman in the salon and I proceeded with our conversation, I asked her if she had chosen to do wrong then why did she not choose to do right? A choice is a choice. I did not receive an answer.
I unquestionably know that it is much easier to do what is wrong than to do what is right. However, for most people the acceptance of the responsibility of wrong becomes a point of evasion. When we do wrong, human nature believes that a particular action was their choice but influenced by the devil. When we do what is right, especially in the face of wrong, we pat ourselves on the back and begin to hum the tune “I know I’ve been changed”. There remains a constant struggle between right and wrong. The Apostle Paul blatantly admits that it is some kind of malicious rule that when he would do good evil is always warring with him. Romans 7:21
There is definitely a struggle to do what is right. But at what point, if there is one, do we as born again believers stop blaming the devil and assume complete responsibility for our choices? James 1:14 says that every man is tempted when is he drawn away of his own lust and enticed. Which is a man’s responsibility to gain authority over – his own lust or the drawing away? If I have lusts that I have not yet been spiritually strengthened to conquer is it still my fault when I am drawn away and tossed into sin? I don’t believe that we sin by choice. I believe that we sin by voice. Whatever voice is speaking into our spirits will drive us to commit certain acts through our flesh. Mankind is governed by only one of two entities, the Holy One or the evil one. Make no mistake about it. Our only choice is to choose this day who we will serve. (Joshua 24:15) The condition of our lives and the circumstances we face as man all hinge upon the choice of who we have made Lord of our lives. The moment we realize that the God is not reigning in a certain area of our life, we should stop and release that weakness to the Lord by faith. God will not clean us up without our confession of sin and obedience to holiness. In Isaiah 1:18-19 God compels man to reason with Him about man’s state of obedience and reward of salvation. We are in a relationship with the Father, not a dictatorship!
Because God has given us the liberty to choose, we must choose to live free from sin and more specifically sexual sins. Where there is a loss of sexual control there is a loss of spiritual dominion. While all sin will cause us to lose communion with God, sexual disorders causes us to also lose power and authority. (Read my book Clothed With The Sun for deeper insight). I believe that more marriages will be sustained the moment husbands and wives realizes that there has to be a spiritual connection made to each other by God through covenant and not a legal union made to people by the law through contract. I pray a special prayer for married couples in today’s world of sex and flesh on parade. Sisters, please pray for our men. There is new attack unleashed upon their minds. Their sexuality has not been under such brutal attack since the day of Sodom and Gomorrah. This is the last hour. Jeremiah 31:22 says that God would do a new thing- a woman shall compass a man. Women, we are positioned in this day to be spiritual giants and leaders. Let us lead with powerful, womanly godliness. Our men need us to stand in the gap for them. Don’t be used or abused but cover your husbands in prayer so that the enemy will not be able to rip the heads off of your households.
Remember, the Lord will always empower each of us to make right choices and good decisions when we become sincere about serving Him.
Be encouraged and stay away from Salon Sermons!
Mia